Posted by: h4ck@lyst | January 15, 2008

No Indians, please!

Sidin @ Rediff

What is it with waiting staff at premium restaurants in India that make them treat Indian customers like crap?

Why, in our country, do we suddenly have to treat everyone else like royalty except our own people? Sure we might not know our Camembert from our Chardonnay. Sure we might not leave thousands of rupees in tips, but we still have every intention of paying our bills provided the Rediff people send us our cheque for our columns in the preceding week.

So why treat the phirangs like they are some sort of godsend?

There is a restaurant here in Mumbai on Marine Drive that is quite popular with the swish set. I will refer to it by the false indicative name “Fault Matter Frill”. Once, a few months ago, a friend called up and tried to get a booking:

“Hello Fault Matter Frill? A table for two please.”



“Sorry, we are all booked for the evening.”

Partha was mildly upset till someone in the office gave him an alternate strategy. Partha called them up again 10 minutes later. This time with some extra emphasis on the vowels.

“Hello, Fault Matter Freell? A table for thoo please.”

“Of course sir. Your name please, my dear sir!”

“Parto. Parto Cerratti, frowm Naaapolee”

“Oh, how exotic sir. Would you like a table by the sea?”

“Of kowrse, of kowrse.”

“Our pleasure sir. Look forward to meeting you sir.”

“Okay da.”


“Ooh la la, I said ooh la la.”

Then there was the time I went to Chennai. There was this disco type place that allowed no single men inside UNLESS you were a fair-skinned foreigner. The others had to go upstairs and look at the crowd from a balcony above though a net.


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